Is It Time For America To Declare War on Britain?


by Jefferson

For far too long, the English have shown flagrant disregard for America.  In 1812, they joined maple-chugging barbarian wildmen from Canada and burned down the White House.  All for the last century, they have insisted on confusing the child’s game soccer with football.   They went and secretly teamed up with all the lesser countries and formed the European Union Club, all in a bid to destroy the American dollar.

Now they have shown flagrant disregard for America’s great leader, President Donald J Trump.

The helium Trump baby balloons show that the English have no civility, no respect, for America.  Even after letting them keep their little island nation and pretend government after George Washington soundly destroyed their wood navy in 1776, they have shown nothing but disrespect and contempt for America’s rule.  For America’s manifest destiny to be the decider for all nations in the Western world.

Now that America has a real president back in office, nations are getting skittish and squirrely, all like a chihuahua facing up with an angry Great Dane.  Sarcastic, yippy, bitey and pedantic are all words that describe the annoying English attitude to President Trump’s visit to the American protectorate-nation of Great Britain.

It is truly hard to imagine that a nation could get so bent out of shape just because President Trump took the lead in looking over what’s technically his troops outside Windsor castle. 

Does America not have the right to claim ownership of the throne and redcoat troops?  Let us not forget, the great war of 1776, 1812 and World Wars 1 and 2 all ended with treaties to where America dictated the terms of surrender of all other nations.

America allowed England to exist in peace since 1776, the only condition really set in stone being that British troops were never allowed to enter the Western hemisphere.  Britain forgot about this in 1812 and went on a maple-syrup fueled drug binge, wildly crossing the America’s undefended, unwalled Northern border of trust and burning down the White House.

Even at that, America turned the other cheek.  Now, President Trump is saying ‘enough is enough’.  Look how tough he looks walking ahead of the Queen.  She looks so comforted to know that a king, if not by title by attitude, is once again at the helm.  She can finally rest easy knowing that the world is in strong hands.  She surely cannot depend on that diplomat Charles or his social-media icon sons for some iron-fisted rule.

Is It Time for America to Invade England?

This is the best time.  The European Union — the jealous attempt of lesser nations to combine their powers to destroy America’s dollar — is trying to keep England from repenting of its sin of joining the rebellious little Euro-wielding group.  The English people are desperate for some populist, logical-fallacy driven leadership that speaks to their inner mob mentality.

History does not betray the fact that the English love a good war-like state.  After they overstepped their bounds and tried to fight America, however, it’s like that rugged English masculinity was lost.  The men started wearing powdered wigs more and more, sprucing up their scent with lilac and lavender, letting women run the show as they got lost in fashion, gossip and treating their colonies with respect.

Gone were the strong-handed days where a Brit could proudly say, ‘The Sun never sets on the English Empire’.  Well, America is ready to take up the mantle and the first nation that needs to be brought back within the American Empire is its fallen predecessor, England.  President Trump the First is a good title.

About the Author Comments