Ask Jet: Does Breastfeeding My Child For Too Long Cause Lesbianism?

Q:  I am the mother of a 18 month old baby girl.  Yesterday during her well child check, she became hungry as we waited in the lobby so I fed her.  We are still breastfeeding due to her intolerance of several foods.  I overheard another family in the lobby commenting on my baby’s age and size and saying, ‘well, she is going to end up a lesbian.’

Am I doing something wrong?  I never heard of this before.

– Upset Mom in Texas

A:  Dear Upset Mom,

Yes, you are doing something wrong.  By 18 months old, she is old enough to sidle and maybe even walk.  Having her demand and get reward from the contents of your bra can only lead to lesbianism when older.  She will grow up thinking it is okay to do this to other women and that leads to you know what when she starts to peak in maturity during her 20s.  Stop now and feed that baby table food so she can grow into a nice woman with a good family.

-Jet