by Dr. Jet Stonecrest
With just a quick snap of its tail, it can inject homosexuality directly into a victim’s bloodstream.
Scientists with the Christian Defense League of Texas have found evidence of a new superspecies of insect that is being called the Gay Scorpion Fly. Leaked memos reveal that gays have secretly pooled their vast resources to commission the creation of this new flying menace.
The fly made its appearance in Florida several weeks ago. A group of campers reported an unexpected outbreak of homosexuality during a hunting trip in the everglades. The men reported seeing swaths of ‘frighteningly large mosquitoes built like tanks’. The three men who were stung showed immediate signs of gay inclination, making their friends fear they had contracted dengue or yellow fever.
Researchers were able to collect several specimens and preliminary testing shows the the bug’s venom is strong enough to drop 7 straight grown men with overwhelming desires of homosexuality.
Scientists also found proof that the fly’s larvae is designed to attack men in such a way that their offspring may inherit gay traits too.
Campers in Southern states and other states as summer draws closer are being warned to keep lookout for these insects. If you come across one, it is advised to to immediately flee the area or organize a synchronized spraying of a quality brand name bug spray such as Raid for flying insects.