by Helen Jo Ellen
New evidence shows that ‘Operation Varsity Blues’, the college admissions scandal that sacked the names of beloved Americans like Lori “Aunt Becky’ Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, is actually part of a deep state conspiracy masterminded by the gay community.
For years, American families have turned to the Hallmark Movie Channel during the holiday season to have the hearts warmed with great stories about Christmas, family and unexpected romance. These family values movies bring a great warmth to the Christmas season and reaffirm what it means to be an American at Christmastime.
Every winter, Americans need a good dose of Hallmark Christmas movies to reaffirm modern faith and heterosexual family values. They get this when watching movies where the plot reveals a busy career woman who is close to falling into the dangerous throes of unbridled lesbianism. A husband either absconded or deceased, a pressing career demanding a relaxing weekend back home in a small town, the protagonist will inevitably find a handsome, rugged Christian man with great fathering skills teach her the spirit of Christmas and the joys of being part of a traditional nuclear family.
Bastions of gay academia have taken keen interest and snark on the subject, their commentary shredding and revealing. Why would gays be so upset and offended over just a handful of social media influencer girls bribing their way into college? It is not like oil billionaires and tech giants don’t just buy billions or give outright endowments to schools to insure their child a spot?
The headline above gives a clear answer. Gays want to write and produce ‘feel good’ Christmas movies where a down on his luck gay guy with his typical six figure job and fast New York life suddenly finds betrayal or heartbreak in his gay marriage.
Downtrodden, he heads back to his small town where he fills up on keto-unfriendly pies and looks upon all his old friends who now have beautiful families. But as he is helping his mother gather kindling for the fire, he notices that the old high school quarterback –one of his biggest detractors in school — is looking particularly rugged, warm and suspiciously single.
You can just see the movie title now: The Christmas Catch: 4th and inches.
If gays are allowed to use heartwarming tales to waft the scent of sugar plummed homosexuality into the air of the holidays, American will suddenly find illegal immigration and weak-flow toilets to once again be the least of our worries.