The Coronavirus is Mankind’s Punishment For Allowing Obama to Legalize Gay Marriage

From terrible earthquakes and hurricanes to asteroids sailing closer and closer to Earth, gays have taunted and obviously drawn the ire of God time and time again for their sinful antics.

But perhaps they have gone too far and now everyone has to pay.  Liberals gave thunderous applause to Obama for doing the unthinkable:  legalizing gay marriage in every state. And just like when America declared independence from the British in 1776, the lesser nations of Earth followed suit and started to wildly legalize gay marriage as well.

Since that time, humanity has watched all the signs of the coming apocalypse take place.  Scientists try to brush these changes off as ‘climate change’ or ‘coincidence’, but those of faith know the truth:  there is always punishment to pay for legalizing gay.

Historical texts document the first time humanity declared gay to be legal, despite ample warning in the Bible.  Just picture it.  All the angels of heaven, your Grandma Mable, Mary Magdalene and even our savior, sitting in their homes in heaven, looking down to only see gay men tucking each other into bed, slathering expensive essential oils on each other to sooth their muscles and ease into a night of gentle debauchery.

This is happening more and more and just making everything so awkward that wrath is taking place.

Through the 6,000 years of human history, artists have consistently captured the fate of humanity when too many cities legalize gay marriage.  The most infamous cities to cause wrath to full upon mankind for their liberal laws include Sodom (where homosexuality was invented, hence the name ‘sodom’), Gomorrah (where the SDI gomorrhea (later gonorrhea in latin)) became prevalent and then the socialist mecca of Vesusvius.  Now, the modern world again is facing wrath after the per capita homosexuality rate became too high.

The easy fix for all of this is for the United States to declare gay marriage a sin again.  That is all it takes.  President Trump, the Supreme Court and the Senate need to do a little quid pro quo.  If we all say gay marriage is illegal, then the angels can blow all the coronavirus away to countries who refused to do the same.