Ask Auntie Helen: Does Being Gay Cause a Higher Chance of Catching Coronavirus

Dear Auntie Helen:

My ‘mother’ (I use quotes because I disowned her after she publicly stated on Facebook she would not accept my lifestyle as a gay man after I came out to my family, thus telling the world what I only meant for my family at the time) reached out to me today to tell me this:  that if I did not stop being gay, I was going to be one of the next victims of coronavirus.

The first call in months from her and that is all she had to say.  No apologies, no trying to shoot the breeze.  Just a ‘repent or catch the coronavirus’ which is just a new gay virus in her mind.  Is there any hope for this relationship?  My partner says that I should block all forms of contact and just truly go beyond a ‘light disowning’ and treat her like she never existed.  Any insight as an older conservative person yourself?

Thanks from Buloxi

Dear Thanks from Buloxi

Sorry to tell you this, but ‘Mother knows best!’

Your mother is worried about your physical and your spiritual body.  From the tone of your letter, it seems you were likely raised knowing the gay lifestyle is rife with risk and sin.  With the coronavirus, a new layer of risk exists for you and your mom is just trying to keep you safe.  Did you know that the seed of man has been shown to spread coronavirus?  This makes your partner a ticking vial of germs that can kill you if you do unholy, carnal things with him.  If you repent now and go try to find a nice girl to court and date (give two weeks without gay contact so you can make sure you are out of incubation period), you can assure the future of your physical body, your relationship with your mother and your soul.  

Wish you all the best,

-Auntie Helen