by Marion Uncmeier
After years of ominous silence, Barack Obama has finally come out of hibernation. In his first major act of supernatural wrath since his presidency came to an end, Obama has tapped into his ancient Kenyan-Egyptian heritage to cast a deadly Saharan sandstorm upon the flesh of his enemies.
Space.com confirms that at time of this report, a giant sandstorm is blistering its way across the Atlantic Ocean and will soon make landfall in America. The storm –featuring all sort of ancient plague viruses, flesh-searing sands powered by high winds and a suffocating sun blotting field of dust — can only be described as Biblical in its nature.
Officials with the Christian Defender’s League of Texas report that Obama’s timing is likely due to his anger and solidarity with BLM protests that have erupted across the nation. As statues are toppled and Trump continues to protest the status quot by mourning the loss of Confederate statues and assuring Americans that the coronavirus is not a threat, Obama is using his supernatural power to remove all the solace given by Trump’s actions.
Obama’s ties to ancient rites and ability to wield artifacts of old legends is well known to the moral media community. In 2009, Obama was seen wielding the ancient Norse artifact Mjolnir, purportedly lifting it and causing lightning to fall from the sky. Later that year, Obama removed a sarcophagus from an Egyptian pyramid and quipped to reporters, ‘the statue next to that sarcophagus kinda looks like me, hmm.’
There are numerous other reports that show Obama using the very dark tactics seen throughout the Bible to influence modern times, further confirming his mysterious Kenyan origins and rise to power. For years it is speculated that his true name is Obamhoptep and he is descended from an ancient line of well known African ‘godkings’ who once ruled the ancient world before Christianity was able to use prayers and faith to hinder their great power.